


Home Where My Love Lies Waiting

by BonitaBreezy



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: First Kiss, Fjord Has Feelings (Critical Role), Getting Together, I love that that’s a tag, M/M, Mollymauk Tealeaf Lives, caduceus is the only emotionally intelligent person in Exandria, coming home, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-30
Updated: 2020-08-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:13:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26186233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BonitaBreezy/pseuds/BonitaBreezy
Summary: In which an old friend is raised from the dead, and some others decide that it is finally time to go home.
Relationships: Caduceus Clay/Fjord
Comments: 4
Kudos: 74





	Home Where My Love Lies Waiting

**Author's Note:**

> My first ever critical role fic! Woo! I literally wrote this on my phone in like two hours but I think it’s pretty good I like Caduceus’ headspace.

The resurrection of Mollymauk Tealeaf went about as well as could be expected of the Mighty Nein. They spent a few days arguing about where exactly along the road he had been buried, until Caleb reminded them of his total recall.

With Travelercon behind them and the citizens of Vo free to do as they wished, they made the long, long journey back to Shadycreek Run. Somehow, against all odds, that coat still fluttered in the breeze above the grave. Caduceus had never been a superstitious man, but he thought perhaps there was power in that coat. 

They removed the Earth until they found the body, well into the stages of decomposition. Jester shrieked and exclaimed about how gross it was and how badly it smelled. The others clearly agreed, though they weren’t as vocal. 

It certainly wasn’t a pleasant smell, but it was natural. Decomposition. Rot. The land taking back from the dead what it had given to the living, absorbing it to fertilize itself and offer new life elsewhere. Comforting and cyclical, though not always pleasant to witness. 

It was Caduceus who had climbed down into the grave, Jester too busy retching loudly, and cast the spell they had come here to cast. It wasn’t usually his inclination to remove the dead from a cycle that had already begun, but this was different. Important to his friends. Important to Fjord. 

So he channeled his connection with the Wildmother, the sweet scent of grass and mellow fresh dirt, and reached into the decomposing rot and built a new body from the grave’s memory and the strength of a large diamond. 

It was exhausting work, piecing a body back together. He knew how to decompose. That came naturally to him. But the opposite? Tying bits and pieces back together to create a whole? That was harder. Finally, though, there was a body. A handsome man, his skin pale and purple like blood settled in a body, though the horns curling from his forehead suggested that was just a consequence of his birth.

Now, he was back in familiar territory. Taking that horrible gaping wound in his chest and pulling it back together, closing it up nice and tight. The flesh there remained pale and puckered, though fully healed. There were some things a body just couldn’t forget. 

Finally, he reached out to the Wildmother again, and she lead him along the winds, whipping and whirling in a search across the world until finally, there it was. A soul, bright and irreverent but overall good. Together they took it gently in their hands and pressed it down over that pale scar, pressed deep anchoring it not only to the body, but to the earth itself. 

And the man gasped and coughed, dirt falling from his lips as his eyes flashed open, red and confused. He seemed to fumble around for a weapon, scared and wary, and then Caleb and Beau were there, talking quickly and laying their hands on him. 

He seemed comforted by their presence, though Caduceus knew that it would be several days before he felt normal again. It was one thing to pull a body back from death within a minute. It was quite another to pull back one that had been halfway through decomposing.

But he pulled himself out of the hole, and his friends helped Mollymauk out, and together they all trooped back to the Blooming Grove.

It was odd, to be there again. Odd and wonderful. The Grove was healing, he could feel it. The sickness that had plagued it for so long was gone, and now all that was left to do was let life take over again. And it seemed to be doing so splendidly, with a fresh carpet of green spreading out over places that had long been blackened by disease. 

And his family was there. All of them, for the first time in so long. It felt so good to walk into the pasture where the family home was and see them there. To rush into their arms and greet them. To tell them of his adventures at Rumblecusp, and explain away Mollymauk who was hurried into a room to recover. To remove his armor and put down his shield and step out into the yard with his toes in the dirt. To be back where he belonged. 

The Mighty Nein stayed there for several days while Mollymauk recovered. Jester was fascinated by all the different graves and spent hours sketching different family crests into her sketchbook. Fjord, Caleb and Beau spent a lot of time loitering by Mollymauk’s door, protective and unsure of how to show how deeply they cared for him. 

Clarabelle took a special liking to Yasha, and spent the time guiding her through the grove and helping her clip different kinds of flowers to press into her book. Veth spent a lot of time with Caduceus and his family, apparently intrigued by something about them, though he wasn’t quite sure.

He only found out the night before they were set to leave. They had gathered for a large dinner, with plans to leave for Nicodranas in the morning, when Veth had cleared her throat loudly and stood on her chair. 

“I’ve decided,” she announced. “That it’s time for me to go home.” 

Everyone seemed stunned by this proclamation, though as soon as he heard it, it made complete sense to him. After everything that happened at Rumblecusp, after Vilya, it just made sense. She had lost twenty-five years with her family. She hadn’t even known they had existed. It was time she would never be able to make up, and the same could have very easily happened to Veth. 

Veth who had a little boy and a husband she loved so dearly. Still, he knew it couldn’t have been an easy choice. To voluntarily take herself out of the action and return to a normal life. Was it even possible, to return to a normal life after all they had seen and done? To forget what it was like to die and be brought back. To forget the power and thrill of adventure? 

Caduceus wasn’t sure, but he was a little jealous that Veth was brave enough to try. He decided that he had to be brave too. 

Later that night, he took his evening tea on the little stone bench near the Coopers. It was always his favorite place to sit and think and commune with the Wildmother. Her presence felt stronger here, somehow. 

He sipped his tea, floral and a little sweet, though calming and mellow enough to help his mind rest before a night of sleep. He heard the footsteps approaching long before Fjord spoke. He had expected at least one of them to come to him to talk about their feelings tonight. It wasn’t surprising that it was Fjord. 

“So. Veth is going home,” he said. 

“Yes,” Caduceus agreed. “There’s something very peaceful in coming home, you know. Odd, when you’ve been away for so long, but relaxing.” 

“I wouldn’t know,” Fjord said, though it wasn’t bitter. “I’ve never had a place to call home. Only people. And now the Nein is breaking up.”

“Only Veth,” Caduceus pointed out serenely. He scooted over on the bench and patted the stone seat next to him. “And it’s not as if we’ll never see her again. She’ll be staying at the Lavish Chateau for the time being.” 

Fjord sat next to him and heaved a sigh. “I suppose that’s true. I can’t blame her. If I had a place to call home, where I could come and know that it was mine and I was safe and loved...I would want to go back there too.”

Caduceus nodded, his shoulders tightening fractionally. He sipped his tea. 

“You’re not leaving, are you?” Fjord asked, almost causing Caduceus to slop his tea down his front. “That is to say, with us. You’ll stay here when we leave.”

It was a startlingly insightful thing for Fjord to say, and his surprise must have shown on his face because Fjord rolled his eyes and knocked their shoulders together companionably. 

“I’ve seen how happy you are here, with your family. And I saw your face when Veth made her announcement. You want to stay.” 

“I…” Caduceus took another sip of tea to buy himself a little time to think. “I had forgotten how wonderful it is to be here. How connected I am to this land. How good it feels.”

“I know I don’t have the right,” Fjord says. “But I want to ask you to come with us.”

Caduceus sighed and lowered his tea cup to his lap. He’d been afraid that Fjord would do this. He’d been even more afraid that he wouldn’t. 

“You all don’t need me,” Caduceus told him. “You’re getting better and better every day. And this...this is where I belong. I left to save it, and now it is saved.”

“I need you,” Fjord protested, turning to look him in the face. Their knees knocked together. “You’re my...guide. You led me to the Wildmother.”

Caduceus smiles wryly. “I did. And I’m so happy you let me. But you don’t need me to connect you to Her, Fjord, you do that all on your own. You have fostered your own connection with Her, your own understanding.”

“Alright,” Fjord said. “But...what about healing? You know Jester hates it. What if we all get mauled by Gnolls because she used the last of her spells to send a message?”

Caduceus laughed. “Jester won’t let that happen and you know it. She cares for all of us.” 

“Well...what about…”

“Fjord,” Caduceus said gently. “My journey is over. I did what I needed to do. And I did what the Wildmother needed me to do. And I love you all, but now it is time for me to come home.” 

“But what about what I need?” Fjord demanded. It was childish and hurt and Caduceus couldn’t judge him for it at all. He was a man who had lost everything over and over and over again. This must feel the same. 

“Fjord…”

He had to admit, he didn’t see it come when Fjord grabbed him by his shirt and yanked him down into a kiss. He dropped his teacup and pinwheeled a little bit, surprised by the gesture. 

He wasn’t surprised by the feelings. He had known they were there for a long time, on both sides. But he had also known that Fjord struggled with them. He didn’t think it prudent to press him, but he hadn’t realized that leaving was what it would take to spur him into action. 

He smiled a little, at the press of tusks against his lip, and lifted a hand to cradle the side of Fjord’s face. His hair was soft under Caduceus’ fingers. He hadn’t expected that. 

They kissed for several long minutes, gentle and searching and little bit of desperation, until finally Fjord pulled away and pressed their foreheads together. 

“I’m not...I don’t know how to do this. Relationships. It’s never been something I’ve been comfortable with. But you make me feel comfortable, Caduceus. You bring me peace and happiness in the smallest of things. I hope that I manage to do the same for you.”

“You do,” Caduceus assured him, tingling with happiness. “Of course you do. You delight me.”

“Then stay,” Fjord said. “Please stay with me.”

Caduceus wanted to say yes. He wanted throw everything else to the wind and promise to stay with Fjord forever, consequences be damned. But it wasn’t to be, and he knew it. 

“I can’t,” he said. “My place is here. I know that you’ve still got things to do. People to find. I know this isn’t the end for the Mighty Nein. But it’s the end for me, for now.” 

“Just like that?” Fjord asked, his face shuttering. He pulled away, his shoulders drawing in, making him smaller. 

“I’m afraid so. But you and me? I’m not ready for that to end. And, when you’re done and ready to come home? You know where to find me.”

Fjord held himself tighter for a moment. 

“You mean that? You’re not just saying it? That...I could come here, after everything, and you’d be waiting?”

Caduceus smiled. “I’m very good at waiting, Mr. Fjord. Especially when it’s for something I want.”

Fjord searched his face, his yellow eyes glinting in the low light, and then leaned in to kiss him once more, chaste and sweet and so lovely it made Caduceus’ toes curl a little. 

“Alright,” he said. “Then...I won’t say goodbye.”

“Alright,” Caduceus agreed. “Then I won’t either.” 

“But I will ask to stay with you tonight,” Fjord continued. “After being roommates for so long, I find it hard to sleep without your deafening snores.” 

Caduceus laughed and leaned down to pick up his teacup, broken in two pieces. 

“Well, I wouldn’t want to send you off without a good night’s sleep. Come on then.”

And together, they walked the path home.


End file.
